Corpses Are Forever

Customer Reviews:

Beyond garbage from Asylum........2007-06-28

How much did it cost to transfer this movie from the VHS camcorder it was shot with to DVD? Can I sell my home movies on Amazon too?

Corpses Are Boring.......2006-07-14

Corpses are forever has to be one of the worst movies ive rented in a long time. The only reason i really rented it was because the cover art zombie from Lucio Fulci's classic "Zombie" was on the cover. So I thought id give it a try. Big Mistake. Weird storyline. Bad makeup effects. Little action. And who really roundhouse kicks a zombie anyways? And hey lets stay with my psycho wife after she tries to stab me and not get with the hot nurse. Yeah...ok. Do yourself a favor and let this one rot on the shelves.

The Unforgivable Sin of Horror: It's Boring.......2006-07-05

It's a shame that the good technical work here can't be transferred over to a deserving low-budget film. Other reviewers have pointed out some of the flaws like cars driving past in the background. Oh, if only THAT were only problem with this movie.

It's boring.

It took three tries to watch it all the way through; I kept falling asleep.

To sum up the plot: Satan is trying to take over. He has cracked open the door to hell and the dead are walking the earth.

You won't learn this until more than an hour into the movie.

Instead, you'll follow a spy who is trying to discover something important about a dead guy. Said dead guy was trying to find his (the dead guy's) kidnapped son. The spy is injected with the dead guy's DNA and then "dreams" the dead guy's life.

The actors were good enough, I think. They just didn't have much to work with. The weakest point (other than the script) was the very poor fight scenes. It was clear that punches and kicks didn't make contact.

Corpses are forever? It seemed more like the movie was forever.

If you're looking for some good zombie flicks, let me recommend THE STINK OF FLESH, ZOMBIE HONEYMOON, and SHATTERDEAD. They may not have the budget of this movie, but they have much better plots.

Good Lord.......2006-01-31

Let me start by saying this movie is awful. Not entertainingly awful, or awful in a funny way, but just plain awful. It is boring, badly acted, and just plain lame. The acting is just really bad. The actors aren't even qualified to be b movie. The zombies are inactive the whole movie, until the end, in which they suddnely want brains. It really is a rip off of Return of the Living Dead, which is actually funny. The guy in the flashbacks has a really annoying voice too. IT should also be noted that the world looks more post-apocalyptic when cars aren't driving in the background and you can't see a gas station complete with working employees out of the windows. Absolutly horrible. Don't even bother renting it.

Awful Awful.......2005-10-12

You know how it is...you're at the video store and none of the big releases are in so you try to find that diamond in the rough. That great little independent film that knocks your socks off. You start looking at the covers and reading the backs until you say "Hey, this looks like a winner" and you take it home. Well don't make the mistake I did with "Corpses are Forever", a truly dreadful movie that is the poster child for never judging a book, or DVD, by it's cover.

The plot, what there is of it and I can only assume it took no more than a few pages of paper, perhaps written in crayon, concerns a guy who wakes up to find himself in a world overrun by zombies. well overrun is a bit of an overstatement since you never see all that many zombies. But here's this guy going Bruce Lee on them in the most hysterical manner. Hysterical because he looks bad doing the moves and hysterical because the stunt coordination is so non-existent that none of the punches and kicks even remotely comes close to their target.

He eventually encounters some special forces guys led by campy Richard Lynch and we get some goofball mix of spy movie and Zombie film mess. Not even the presence of scream queens Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley, and Debbie Rochon can save this film. The first two looking every bit the near 50 year olds that they are. Jose Prendes wrote, directed, and stars in the film which comes off like a bad film school movie starring the directors friends. Jose must have had some money to waste on this mess. Avoid at all costs.

Average customer rating:

The most dreadful movie known to man...next to Gigli.
Corpses Are Crap
Zer000000 stars
These zombies aren't even oatmeal-faced!!!
Corpses are Forever Lame

Corpses Are Forever
Starring: Corpses Are Forever
Manufacturer: Asylum Home Entertaiment
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Horror | Genres | DVD | Video

( C ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
ASIN: B0002HOE2G
Release Date: 2004-08-24

Customer Reviews:

The most dreadful movie known to man...next to Gigli........2006-05-19

To start, I was extremely bored and suffering from insomnia when I watched this. The plot was all over the place, the acting was absolutely pathetic, and the fight scenes were downright laughable. The main character, whom looked like someone the casting director picked out in front of a liquor store, did these horrendous karate chops, kicks and punches that never seemed to connect with the zombies body.

The supporting cast was forgettable as well. The only actor that I recognized was some old guy that use to play in a lot of movies from the 70's. He probably only acted in this mess so he could buy new dentures. And let's not even get on the zombies!! The zombies just looked like a bunch of dirty people that hadn't bathed in a while.

And as if I hadn't suffered through this mess enough, I had the nerve to look at the DVD extras!!! All this section contained was some haggard looking woman showing off her dirty house. To sum up, I would rather pull all my adult teeth out than watch this again. Avoid this if you love yourself.

Corpses Are Crap.......2005-06-02

Why do I continue to sodomize myself by viewing low budget trash like 'Corpses Are Forever'? I guess my penchant for self-flagellation is overpowering my need for self-preservation. Let's just put it this way: this flick is so bad that after watching it, I couldn't walk right for a month.

Listen to your gut reaction(i.e. the movie sucks worse than you think it possibly could)when you see the cover of this DVD and don't try to fool yourself into thinking that this could be a low budget zombie flick that is good. 'Corpses Are Forever' is truly pile of crap. The script is embarassing, the acting is terrible, the special effects are pathetic, and the camerawork looks to have been done by sixth graders. The absolute worst part of this film though are the action scenes. The makers of the film have tried to stage some big action pieces with the lame hero taking on numerous zombies at once in hand-to-hand combat. Obviously the makers of the film know nothing about action. They are slow, no contact is ever made when a punch is thrown, and they are just pathetic. These are the worst action scenes ever put to celluloid. The lame hero's spinkicks have to be seen to be believed. Its just sad. The action here looks like what would be done by middle schoolers for a school project. Pathetic.

'Corpses Are Forever' is just another log from the turd factory. It should be filed in the "Crapfest" bin along with other turds like 'House Of The Dead', 'One Of Them', and 'Alone In The Dark'. Ugh.

Zer000000 stars.......2005-03-07

Not one good thing about it. The star actor is as cheezy and corny as hell, kind of dorkie but plays a role lke he so suave. Basically I only watched the first 30 minutes cause it was so boring and crappy I fell a sleep. And didnt bother with the rest till the nextday. In continued where I left off watched it for the remaining which I struggled to do but did. To spend more than $5 on this trust me its a waste of money, please take my word.

These zombies aren't even oatmeal-faced!!!.......2005-03-01

I thought this movie would be exciting with all the cult actresses including the girl who played Angela in Sleepaway Camp,Linnea Quigley from Night of the Demons, Debbie Rochon, and Brinke Stevens, but none of that mattered because it sucked!

There is no good zombie action (no zombie action period for that matter). Every time there could be zombie action, the movie tried to escape it. It even ends on a note when we get a set-up for *%@-kicking, but then the credits role, not a drop of zombie blood shed.

Yes, the fighting scenes were terrible and fake.

The flashbacks were nauseatingly boring. The main character is looking for his child as he gets clues from a ghost (Quigley) who seems to complicate things in the beginning, but is super-helpful in the end by jumping out of closests and thin air with guns to fight the zombies (guns they never use). The whole plot leads up to a whole bunch of nothing. The main character turns out to be a serial killer who is trying to save his soul from the devil, stupid...stupid...stupid.

Also, the references to "They Live" and Romero are annoying (I hate winks and homages to other movies, they're not clever at all!).

Good thing I only wasted 4 dollars renting this heap, it stinks!

Corpses are Forever Lame.......2005-02-06

It's been a long time since I've had a chance to sit down to a horror movie/zombie movie that I just grabbed off the shelf. So, of course I forgot to numb my senses with booze. I regret this oversight, thanks to this B-Movie crapathon.
Here's a synopsis: It starts as a black and white suprnatural mystery. Then, it's a "zombie" movie where there are a grand total of twelve zombies that are about as terrifying as a throw pillow. They don't even kill anybody. NOT ONE ZOMBIE CASUALTY. THEN it's a spy thriller with a Gay General who looks like he's dressed to be camouflage at a Jimmy Buffet concert. THEN it's an amnesia mystery with a nurse that stepped out of a porno (or a Florida strip club) and forgot to bring her nudity. THEN it's... well, this is taking to long. It's CRAP.
If you're going to make a movie on a limited budget and work so hard on something to create your art, WHY would you half-ass it so badly? The fight scenes are less convincing than a WWF match between two forty-year-old jobbers. The writing is so convoluted that I could jam a taco in my butt and come out with a more thought-out story. At one point, I believe that the writers ran out of ideas, so they had a woman with blood on her head start GRANTING WISHES.
It's not exciting and it's NOT scary. I've seen pillow fights with more terror and intensity. Even the guy who was IN THE MOVIE wrote a lousy review.
Here are some questions for the filmmakers:
Is this a zombie movie because they were filming one next door? Were these people on a lunchbreak from another zombie movie? Have these filmmakers ever heard of a retake? (If the actor can't hit the slide release on his pistol the first time, try saying: "CUT, do it again." ) When you kick a fat zombie woman in the teeth (assuming you get closer than two feet from her face...) why does she just STAND THERE? Where did you get that cheesy rubber mask? WHY did Debbie Rochon get involved with this travesty? And MOST importantly: IF THE WORLD IS INFESTED WITH ZOMBIES, WHY ARE YOU CRUISING AROUND IN A CONVERTIBLE CADDY? I mean, it's a nice car, but not real tactical for a CIA agent. Not so low-profile.
In short, I can't say this movie was a waste of my time or money. It taught me three valuable lessons:
1) If I can't write a one-paragraph synopsis of the plot that is accurate to the script, I need to rewrite the script.
2) If a movie doesn't scare my wife, it's not scary at all.
3) If zombies ever DO invade the earth, the place to be is Florida, because there will only be a few of them and they'll be too busy commuting between the three locations of this film to worry about doing anyone any harm.

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