Guns of El Chupacabra

Description

One Space Sheriff. One Blood Thirty Monster. And One Million Bullets. Guns of El Chupacabra is the Epic Saga of how Jack B. Quick, Space Sheriff ascends to Knighthood and becomes The Reverend Doctor Saint Francis Blade. Guns of El Chupacabra stars International Action Star and Martial Arts Master SCOTT SHAW, Penthouse Pet and B-Movie Queen, JULIE STRAIN, Co-Creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, KEVIN EASTMAN, B-Movie Icons, JOE ESTEVEZ and CONRAD BROOKS, and the Ultimate Hollywood Bad Guy, ROBERT Z'DAR, Guns of El Chupacabra is a Visually Stunning, Fast Paced, Non-Stop Action-Adventure, with more bullets flying than in a Hong Kong Action Film. Guns of El Chupacabra takes the Hollywood Action-Adventure Cult Movie to the next level.

Customer Reviews:

Fellini meets the Coen Brothers with a Bang!.......2007-06-21

This is really a very good film. It has all of the visual wildness of a Fellini movie with all of the character development of a Coen Brother's film. The main thing that I personally like about this film is that there is all of these various characters, which all develop and expand the story for this film. They are then all tied together by the character Jack B. Quick, Space Sheriff, played by Scott Shaw. I think was a great idea and a great way to present a lot of very good story development and add depth to the many characters that make-up this film.

Though this is considered a monster flick. The monster, which is very good, is almost secondary to the characters presented in this film. Robert Z'Dar plays a great bad guy. Joe Estevez is this very interesting character reminiscent of 1950's and 1960's T.V. who pops into the film about half way though and provided this great, very bizarre, story narration.

There is also a lot of gun play in this movie. What I really like about this fact is that the gun play does not possess all the blood, guts, and gore of many indie films on the market right now. Instead, it is very stylized like the violence of 70's T.V.

The locations this film was shot at also deserve a mention. This film was not shot in only one or two very stagnant locations. Instead, it was filmed in numerous very visual locations. I believe this is a common stylistic trait of the films that Donald G. Jackson and Scott Shaw created. One of the most interesting scenes in this film is when the reporter character is giving one of her news reports. In this scene there were all kinds of news vans, news crews, and news reporters behind her. This must have cost a lot of money to pay all of those extras and to set up that scene. But, that is just one of the subtle elements that makes this film worth the watch.

The punk rock combines with country music also adds a very interesting and unique element to this film. The theme song is great! Overall, this is a really good movie.

Not Up To The Normal Standards Of Scott Shaw And Joe Estevez..........2007-06-11

If you think you may have detected sarcasm in my title, you're right. Shaw and Estevez are utterly unknown for taking part in good movies, but, unfortunately, they have completely outdone themselves this time. I settled on two stars after trying to decide whether to rate this as a serious film or as a film so bad it is entertaining. This is an abysmal production with an unreal premise (if you can even figure out what it is; good luck,) horrible acting and a plot so disjointed that I recommend taking notes if you want to keep it all straight. I ended up giving it two stars, though, because it is entertaining in a surreal "Ed Wood on acid" way.

The box says "One Bloodthirsty Monster...One Space Sheriff...And One Million Bullets" and that is truth in advertising, but there's much more. Since the plot is incomprehensible, I see no way but to cover the film chronologically. The film opens with King All-Media and Queen B sending for the "Space Sheriff," Jack B. Quick. (Really.) They want to see him because an "interruption in the flow of light" has caused a glitch in the space-time continuum, which has unleashed the chupacabra on the earth. Angels and demons escort Quick to earth, and we quickly discover that the film co-stars Robert Z'Dar, Joe Estevez, and Conrad Brooks, along with scream queen Julie Strain. For coming all the way to earth Quick has the junkiest car I have ever seen (it's called the "Mighty Plytech.") Before I continue, I must advise viewers to beware of the soundtrack: the music is loud and frequently overpowers dialogue (not that that's a bad thing.) The music also has one other consistent trait: it has absolutely nothing to do with the scenes involved. More on this later.

The film has many caption cards (which are mildly relevant at best) that attempt to explain what's going on. Examples include "Enter Bride of the Monster," and "Sonic Demon and the Wong Ranger." The Space Sheriff crosses the galaxy but has to buy two pistols out of the back of a station wagon, as the black market peddler doesn't have a "MR-7 Laser Interceptor." Quick gets to work discovering a subplot about a fiend putting women in chicken coops while Spanish language music is sung very loudly in a manner similar to, but considerably less soothing than, Yoko Ono. This sets the stage for a lot of scenes in which English and Spanish are randomly intermixed, resulting in a discussion about pigs, and the first major round of firearms practice. A journalist from TV News station "Parasite" quickly traces the chupacabra to a junkyard in southern California, where we stay for the rest of the movie.

We next learn that the chupacabra is the result of a government genetic experiment, which requires Quick to do some karate on a rooftop for some reason. Queen B gets romantic with a guy in a silver diaper, which segues into Robert Z'Dar's entrance with a cast of villains including Mexican wrestlers and "Dogboy." Z'Dar controls the chupacabras, and employs a cannibal redneck to round them up. Since you are doubtlessly confused, Joe Estevez shows up to narrate as "Rocket Ranger Dan Danger," complete with backpack and goggles. (I swear.) Just when you thought the harmonica music was the most annoying part of the film we discover that some chupacabra are invisible, adding to the number of rounds fired pointlessly. After fisticuffs between an extremely attractive woman in sandals and a space alien in mittens, we see a daring hostage rescue featuring yet another new character set to avant-garde music in (apparently) Japanese sounding like "The Chipmunks" impersonating "Rush," followed by a tussle involving two "Chupacabra Agents" in a subway station. After some Mexican wrestling, we find the alien and the chupacabra menacing some girls in a chicken coop. Quick rescues the girls, but doesn't bother to shoot either the alien or the chupacabra, in the only second of the film not filled with gunfire.

It quickly devolves into "The Most Dangerous Game" when "Z-Man Lord Invader" (Z'Dar, with a gun as big as his chin) and the "Texon Five" chase down Quick and the reporter in a truck while bluegrass banjo music blares.

I am sad to report that the film then becomes a "movie within a movie," which is a kind of documentary-action-musical dedicated to Jack B. Quick. (It even features a Scott Shaw temper tantrum.) We are then treated to some footage of general aviation aircraft and the plot changes to the chupacabra stalking a Cinco de Mayo festival, which Joe Estevez helpfully explains in a very confusing lesson. The reporter finds out that it's a government conspiracy, and is kidnapped for her knowledge. Meanwhile Quick is on a yacht getting some shuteye when a girl brings him a newsflash: an arrow is the only way to kill a chupacabra. Quick goes hunting the beast, runs him over with the Mighty Plytech, and shoots him with a quiver of arrows (while the soundtrack sounds like Yoko impersonating the "Talking Heads.") Estevez returns to summarize the film, Conrad Brooks has gone to the afterlife (hint: it involves chainmail) for some reason, and Quick gets knighted "The Reverend Doctor Saint Francis Blade" by Queen B. The end.

That is a lot to process, so feel free to watch it several times. You will doubtlessly find my single biggest complaint about the DVD helpful: the whole movie is one big track, so once you start you don't want to take it out of the DVD player and start over. The credits are mildly amusing, but I can't imagine endorsing this film (except as an example of extremely bad cinema) without compensation. This is for hardened Shaw/Estevez/Brooks veterans only; if in doubt try "Toad Warrior" first. It is a much better film.

Just because you can film it doesn't mean you should.

Average customer rating:

El Cheap-o-cabra...
Laughably bad.
CHUCKLES FOR CHUPACABRA
Dr. Starlina Divide Versus A Deformed Pygmy Marmoset
This movie is testimony to Amazon needing zero-star ratings

El Chupacabra
Starring: Eric Alegria , Anthony 'Treach' Criss , Elina Madison , Jerry Rodriguez , and Layton Matthews
Director: Brennon Jones , and Paul Wynne
Manufacturer: York
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0000AZT47
Release Date: 2003-09-23

Description

When an animal control officer discovers that the legendary latino monster, a "Chupacabra", is killing in his city, he hunts it down with the help of a pretty scientist and uncovers a plot to use the deadly creature for the military.

Customer Reviews:

El Cheap-o-cabra... .......2007-04-21

We get an animal control officer, his cousin, an author, two idiot cops, three seemingly harmless gang members, a mad scientist, his henchman, and a homeless person. I left out a couple of people, but you get the picture. This is low-low budget film-making at it's... er, um, best? Well, it's not the worst I've seen anyway. The title creature is semi-impressive w/ no zippers I could detect. Just some poor guy in a monkey-man suit hopping around. There is blood, intestines, and carnage, though there's not much suspense. The humor is ham-fisted and mostly flops on the floor. I didn't fall asleep, but I did check the clock to see if time had actually stood still at one point. If you enjoy movies like ASTRO ZOMBIES or CORPSE GRINDERS, the style and cheapness of EL CHUPACABRA might appeal to you (although both AZ and CG are superior tales)...

Laughably bad........2006-08-19

I heard this one sucked. The Foywonder and Dr Gore tried to get that message thru, but it didn't work with me, as usual. So I rented it. And I'm sorry.

Some nutcase tries to transport two Chupacabras, a male and a female, to a facility in some gang-infested city in Mexico. At least, I think it's a gang-infested city in Mexico. Anyways, the male escapes and starts killing people.

It seems appearant to me that most of the film's budget went into making the two rubber Chupacabra suits, which are easily the best thing about this movie. But that isn't saying much. To say the script and direction are completely incoherant is an understatement. The acting isn't much better.

If you did something wrong and feel like you need to punish yourself, or if you want to torture someone, this is a good choice.

CHUCKLES FOR CHUPACABRA.......2006-05-28

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that is soooo...bad it's great. EL CHUPACABRA joins the list; this movie is funnier than many comedies I've viewed recently. The monster looks like a smurf and the acting is unbelievably bad. They stop sometimes in midstream and act like they're trying to remember their lines. They can't several of the doors to open. The sound and editing are atrocious. And the actors are just the worst I've seen, but their characters are given such dumb lines and behave so unbelivably, it just made me laugh and laugh and laugh. What a hoot!!!!

Dr. Starlina Divide Versus A Deformed Pygmy Marmoset.......2005-03-13

Having presented the equally foul smelling "Legend of the Chupacabra" to a friend as a Christmas gift, I duly received this odious film in a likeminded reply. I have considered the case very carefully and simply can't decide which of the two is worse, so save yourself the agony and choose to watch neither.

"El Chupacabra" is putrid beyond belief. The concept and script defy belief (and description), the characters are wooden templates of real people, and the acting is perhaps the worst I have ever seen anywhere. Coleman Francis has nothing on Treach for dramatic talent. The problem is that Treach as Dr. Goodspeed is the best actor in the film, while the worst is the annoying police investigator who apparently forgets giant blocks of dialogue, leaves appropriate gaps in the scene, and then just starts talking again. This brings me to the subject of dialogue. Seldom has worse use been made of the English language, with excessive talking devoted to goats and sublimely silly conspiracies, most of which are so badly conceived as to be nearly opaque to the viewer (Dr. Divide actually says something like "goats are found most commonly in areas highly populated with goats").

This film is truly wretched. I do like the thought of the heroine, a noted Chupacabra author named Dr. Starlina Divide, battling a menacing animal (about two feet tall and resembling nothing as much as a smallish pygmy marmoset) alongside the animal control officer (Eric Alegria) in what must be the first in a series of one starring roles.

If you consider watching this film, consider this closing thought: Don't!

This movie is testimony to Amazon needing zero-star ratings.......2005-01-30

This has got to be one of the worst B-horror movie ever. Of course, no one expects a B-horror movie to be good or make sense, but this is ridiculous!

All throughout the movie, we have people doing things for no reason at all! We have the scientist who will do anything for science, including sacrifice people. We have the greedy man who will do anything for money, including sacrifice people. Then we have the good guys. We have the hero who will do anything to save people, including risk his life. We have the pretty girl's father who will do anything to save people, including risk his life.

My description may sound like an overexaggeration, but that is how it normally is with B-movies. All the bad guys act the same, all the good guys act the same, and there are generally two types of women. There's the bad ass female who can kick ass despite her rather small stature (and most of them have petite figures, so don't lie to yourself) and there's the female who actually acts like how she looks. In this movie, it's the latter but she gets to kick some ass later on in the movie. She fails miserably at it, but she does it.

The chupacabra itself is a rather big enigma. It growls loudly all the time, yet no one hears it. It mauls everyone it comes across, yet no one except the main people sees any dead bodies. It moves like it has a giant spring in its ass, yet it slows down when near someone and speeds up again when it's right next to them.

However, that is not the biggest problem. The biggest problem in this movie is that everyone and the chupacabra does things for no reason. The scientist decides to kidnap the admiral's daughter even though kidnapping someone else would have made it tremendously easier for him. The thief tells the soldiers that the heroes are dead for no obvious reasons. As a matter of fact, telling the soldiers the truth would have made things EASIER for him. Then there's the chupacabra itself. It really mauls EVERYONE it comes across! How can anything be hungry all the time? Even so, it never eats all of its victim. It swallows maybe a tiny part and then it moves on to something else. Why?

You guys should save yourself the agony of this movie. Nothing makes sense. In one scene, one of the soldiers will toss grenades all over the place, but almost NOTHING is destroyed! Please don't watch this. You'll thank me for it later.

Average customer rating:

Guns of El Chupacabra II: The Unseen
Starring: Scott Shaw , and Donald G. Jackson
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

Description

Guns of El Chupacabra II: The Unseen is a loosely based prequel/sequel to GUNS OF EL CHUPACABRA. This film parallels Guns of El Chupacabra and peers into the lives and motives of some of the characters introduced in GUNS OF EL CHUPACABRA in a more definitive manner.

Average customer rating:

El Chupacabra/Scream Bloody Murder
Starring: York Double Feature
Manufacturer: York Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000ARTMHK
Release Date: 2005-09-13

Description

2 Great Horror Films on One DVD!

[El Chupacabra] When an animal control officer discovers that the legendary latino monster, a "Chupacabra", is killing in his city, he hunts it down with the help of a pretty scientist and uncovers a plot to use the deadly creature for the military.

Description

Tras ser atacado por la bestia, José (Carlos Yustis), el borracho del pueblo, se convierte en el Chupacabras. Como vampiro, José pasa noche tras noche buscando víctimas, que casualmente resultan ser las mujeres más hermosas del pueblo. Las víctimas dejarán atrás sus inhibiciones y actuarán de una forma más sensual de lo normal. Esta película le trae la gran leyenda del Chupacabras... ¡pero con un final inesperado! Jose the town drunk is attacked by the Chupacabras and unknowingly becomes the Chupacabras. Like a vampire, he transforms and attacks his victims at night. His victims are typically very attractive women. Once bitten, these women loose their inhibitions. The problem is solved by 2 guys from a different galaxy.

Average customer rating:

El Chupacabras
Starring: Gilberto de Anda , Jorge Reynoso , Miguel Ángel Rodríguez , and Lina Santos
Manufacturer: Laguna Films
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

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Action & Adventure | Independently Distributed | Stores | DVD | Video

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ASIN: B000BEZR44
Release Date: 1996-07-18

Average customer rating:

Vuelve el ChupaCabras

ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Product Features:

Suspense
Terror

ASIN: B000OT9XKA

Product Description

Vuelve el ChupaCabras Un extraño y volador ser ha llegado a un apartado pueblo de México, por descuido al volar demasiado bajo se estrella contra un poste y se daña las alas por lo que debe permaneser en el pueblo hasta que sanen. Mientras para no aburrirse decide sembrar el terror entre sus habitantes. Al correr los dias el extraño ser que no es otro que el temible CHUPACABRAS se da cuenta que lo unico que les inspira es risa . El Chupacabras descubre con horror que cayo en un pueblo de locos, quienes comandados por el peligroso Sheriff (Manuel "Flaco" Ibañez) emprenden una persecución en su contra. El Chupacabras escapa hacia un rancho cercano donde rapta a La Paty (Paty Muñoz) la hija del dueño, desatando con esto la ira de Condorito" un lepero y traviezo monaguillo (novio de Paty) quien se une a la loca persecución. Vuelve el Chupacabras una exelente comedia que le cambiara la idea que usted tenia acerca del Chupacabras....

Average customer rating:

Not Up To The Normal Standards Of Scott Shaw And Joe Estevez...
Ever heard of the Smithees?
Rock `em Sock `em Action
Cult Cool
Just shoot me!!

Guns of El Chupacabra
Starring: Scott Shaw , and Julie Strain
Manufacturer: Light Source Films
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0001E5C26
Release Date: 1998-01-15

Description

One Blood Thirty Monster. One Space Sheriff. And One Million Bullets.

Guns of El Chupacabra is the Epic Saga of how Jack B. Quick, Space Sheriff ascends to Knighthood and becomes The Reverend Doctor Saint Francis Blade.

Guns of El Chupacabra stars International Action Star and Martial Arts Master SCOTT SHAW, Penthouse Pet and B-Movie Queen, JULIE STRAIN, Co-Creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, KEVIN EASTMAN, B-Movie Icons, JOE ESTEVEZ and CONRAD BROOKS, and the Ultimate Hollywood Bad Guy, ROBERT Z'DAR,

Guns of El Chupacabra is a Visually Stunning, Fast Paced, Non-Stop Action-Adventure, with more bullets flying than in a Hong Kong Action Film. Guns of El Chupacabra takes the Hollywood Action-Adventure Cult Movie to the next level.

Customer Reviews:

Not Up To The Normal Standards Of Scott Shaw And Joe Estevez..........2007-02-04

Ever heard of the Smithees?.......2006-12-03

Okay, I became aware of this movie through the Smithees. The Smithees are an award show put on at gaming conventions like Orgins. Only a true geek knows what I am talking about but the basis of the Smithees is to award the truly worst of the worst yes this movie was 2006 winner. Of all the movies the group saw and we watched movies for a long time this was the worst. It is up in 2007 Orgins Smithee 5 year award which means it has the ability to be the worst over the last 5 years. So if you are looking for a classic B movie this is not it.
However if you want pointless nudity, no plot at all, hard to follow script (ladies the men in this movie are not that hot and mostly over ugh) this is your film. So get the popcorn and laugh till your side hurts because you will.

Rock `em Sock `em Action.......2005-10-13

I happened upon one of Scott Shaw's other films, Vampire Blvd., and I really liked it. So, I thought I would look into some of his other movies. Guns of El Chupacabra seemed like the obvious choice for me.

I think this movie is really good. What I think is most entertaining about it, and truly makes it unique, is that it follows several storylines. These storylines then merge but then they shift apart again. And that's cool.

Like Vampire Blvd. this movie takes a different approach to presenting a Monster Movie than one would expect. I certainly didn't expect the story to be presented in the way that it was. And that's also cool.

One of the other cool things about this movie is the soundtrack. There is a bunch of country and bluegrass music. Something you rarely hear in movies. Then there is some wild punk rock. Very cool.

After watching this movie I looked on-line and read some of the articles about it. I think the filmmakers accomplished what they set out to do, "to make a movie, within a movie, within a movie."

This movie is a great watch if you like the unexpected.

Cult Cool.......2005-10-11

I heard about this movie and read articles about it for several years before I actually saw it. I couldn't find a copy of it for the longest time. But Low-and-Behold, finally, here it is on Amazon.

I like this movie. It holds up.

A few of the elements I like about this film are the cinematography, the locations, and the characters, which are pretty interesting.

This movie is not-traditional but I don't think, from what I've read, the filmmakers wanted it to be traditional, they wanted it to be different and it is.

I like Monster Flicks and I think this one gives the genre a new look and a new feel.

I say, "Watch this," if you're into cutting edge films. It's pretty good and keeps you interested with all of its unexpected twists and turns.

Just shoot me!!.......2005-10-11

What were the other people that reviewed this movie smoking? This is in no way, shape or form even close to being good. You never even see what the actors shoot at. All they do is stop walking and fire there guns. Then they start to walk again. You think that the director would at least show the Chupacabra before the shots started. Or at least running away from the bullets.

The fights are just as bad. Ok, the girls that fight in this film do a bad job. You kind of expext that. But the guys aren't much better. You whould hope that they would try harder to make it realistic.

Bottom line, this movie sucks. If you want to see Julie Strain kick ass, watch Battle Queen 2020. Don't be fooled by the other rating.

DVD:

DVD

DVD